Why Supporting New Parents at Work Matters: My Day at The Trade Desk

Why Supporting New Parents at Work Matters: My Day at The Trade Desk

Last week, I had the opportunity to spend the morning at The Trade Desk talking about something I feel incredibly passionate about: how we can better support people as they become parents, and the role employers can play in that.

I was invited in alongside my colleague and fellow doula, Em, to talk about doula support and the doula benefit available to employees through Carrot.

It was such a lovely opportunity to bring conversations about pregnancy, birth and postnatal life into the workplace, particularly because this wasn't just us talking about what doula support could look like.

Em and I have already had the privilege of supporting one of The Trade Desk's employees, Casey, and her family.

I supported Casey during the day, while Em provided overnight postnatal support, so we were able to share what having access to a doula through an employee benefit can actually mean for a family.

Becoming a parent doesn't happen separately from your working life

We often talk about maternity leave, paternity leave and returning to work as though they're separate events.

But becoming a parent is an enormous life transition.

Pregnancy, preparing for birth, the birth itself, physical recovery, feeding, sleepless nights, learning how to care for a newborn and navigating a completely new family dynamic all overlap.

And while some families have a huge support network around them, many simply don't.

This is particularly true for families living and working in places like London, where grandparents, siblings and close friends may live hours - or even countries- away.

That's where I think employers have an incredible opportunity.

Meaningful family benefits aren't simply another workplace perk. They're a way of recognising employees as whole people and acknowledging that supporting them through one of the biggest transitions of their lives matters.

What does a doula actually do?

One of the things I loved most about speaking at The Trade Desk was having the opportunity to explain what doula support really looks like.

There can still be a misconception that doulas are only there for birth, or that doula support is something quite niche.

In reality, my role can look completely different from one family to another.

As a birth and postnatal doula, I might support someone through pregnancy and preparing for birth, be alongside them during labour, help them navigate the first days and weeks at home, support feeding, cook nourishing meals, care for their baby while they sleep or shower, help with the practical things that suddenly feel enormous with a newborn, or simply be the calm and experienced person they can turn to when everything feels new.

And sometimes that support continues far beyond the traditional six-week postnatal period.

Doula support isn't about coming into someone's home and telling them how to parent.

It's about listening, supporting and helping a family find their own feet.

What that support can mean to a family

Casey very kindly shared these words about her experience of having me alongside her family:

“Hiring Natalie was one of the best decisions we made as new parents. She supported us from birth through our son’s first year, and I genuinely can’t imagine that time without her.

Natalie is incredibly knowledgeable and professional, but what makes her so special is her warmth, humour and genuine care. She slotted into our home so naturally and very quickly became someone we completely trusted.

She helped us with everything - from the birth experience, to guiding me through the breastfeeding journey, caring for our son (who adores her!), helping with laundry and cooking, and helping all of us emotionally process the incredible change that comes with starting a family.

Having a baby in London without family close by, Natalie really gave us that village you need (!!). We will absolutely be asking her to support us through birth and postpartum again with our next baby. I couldn’t recommend her more.”

I think Casey's words explain something difficult to capture when we talk about doula support simply as a workplace “benefit”.

It's about having a village.

It's having someone you trust beside you while you navigate one of the biggest changes of your life.

It's practical support when you're exhausted. Reassurance when you're questioning yourself. Someone to care for your baby while you rest. Someone who can support both parents, rather than focusing solely on the baby.

And sometimes it's simply having another person in your corner.

That idea of creating a village really sits at the heart of what I do.

Partners need to be part of the conversation too

Something that felt particularly important to me during our session was that conversations around pregnancy, birth and postnatal support shouldn't only be directed towards women.

We need partners in the room too.

They're going through a huge transition themselves while supporting someone they love through pregnancy, birth and recovery and simultaneously learning how to care for their new baby.

When partners understand what support is available, they can advocate for it too.

They can recognise when their family might benefit from additional help and understand that bringing in support isn't an indication that anyone is struggling or failing.

Sometimes it simply means making the transition into parenthood that little bit gentler.

And this is one of the reasons I think educating employees about family benefits is just as important as offering them in the first place.

Why workplace family benefits matter

I've supported hundreds of families over the years, and one thing I see again and again is the difference that practical, personalised support can make during pregnancy and the early months of parenthood.

For employers, offering family benefits that people can genuinely use sends an important message:

We value you, and we recognise that your life outside work matters too.

A workplace can't remove the sleepless nights or make recovering from birth instant.

But it can help ensure an employee knows what support is available and feels comfortable accessing it.

Having a doula benefit available is brilliant. But employees also need to understand what a doula is, how we can support them and that doula care isn't reserved for one particular type of birth, parent or family.

That's why having these conversations in workplaces matters so much.

Bringing conversations about parenthood into the workplace

Standing in The Trade Desk talking openly about birth, postnatal recovery, feeding, babies, partners and family life felt like a really positive step towards bringing these conversations into spaces where they haven't always happened.

Because workplace support for new parents shouldn't begin and end with parental leave.

There is so much opportunity for businesses to consider the whole journey - from pregnancy and preparing for birth, through the postnatal period and eventually into the transition back to work.

I'm so grateful to The Trade Desk for inviting Em and me in and giving us the space to talk about the work we do, and to Casey for allowing me to share her lovely words and a little of her family's experience.

I'd love to see more businesses having these conversations and more employees understanding the support that may already be available to them.

Because when we support someone as they become a parent, we're not only supporting an employee.

We're supporting a whole family.

Birth and postnatal doula support

I'm Natalie, a birth and postnatal doula and antenatal educator based in Hertfordshire. I support families across Hertfordshire, Buckinghamshire, Bedfordshire, North London and beyond.

My support is tailored entirely around each family and can include antenatal education, birth doula support, postnatal care and ongoing support throughout the transition into parenthood.

I work with families privately as well as families accessing doula support through workplace fertility and family benefits.

If you're expecting a baby, navigating the postnatal period or would like to explore how doula support could fit into your family's journey, I'd love to hear from you.

How Doulas Can Support You During an Elective Cesarean Birth

When expecting a baby, the path to parenthood isn’t always straightforward, and for some, the birth plan might include an elective cesarean section (C-section). Whether for medical reasons or personal choice, an elective cesarean can be a calm and empowering experience when approached with the right support.

That’s where a doula comes in! Many people don’t realise that doulas can be an invaluable part of the birth team during a cesarean birth, even if it’s planned.

1. Providing Emotional Support

Childbirth can be an emotional experience, no matter the type or birth. A doula is there to provide continuous emotional support throughout the process. During an elective cesarean, a doula can help you manage any feelings of anxiety, fear, or uncertainty. They will be a calming presence, offering reassurance and comfort as you prepare for the birth.

2. Helping with Decision-Making

Elective cesareans often come with many choices, from delayed cord clamping, what music you want to listen to, to the involvement of your birth team. A doula can help you understand your options and advocate for your preferences, ensuring that you feel confident and informed in every decision you make. They won’t make decisions for you, but they’ll empower you to make the best choices for you and your baby.

3. Advocating for Your Birth Plan

While an elective cesarean is a planned procedure, there are still several aspects of your birth that can be personalised. Whether it’s skin-to-skin contact with your baby immediately after birth or ensuring your partner is involved in the experience, a doula can advocate for your birth plan, communicating your wishes to the medical team in a respectful and effective way.

4. Providing Physical Comfort

Even though an elective cesarean is a surgery, there are still ways a doula can help you feel more comfortable. From helping with positioning before the procedure to guiding you through deep breathing techniques, a doula will assist in reducing stress and discomfort. After the birth, they can also offer comfort during recovery, whether it’s helping you with gentle movements or offering suggestions to support your healing process.

5. Supporting Your Partner

If you have a partner with you, they will also benefit from the support of a doula. Cesarean sections can be intimidating for partners who may feel helpless or unsure of how to assist. A doula will guide your partner in providing emotional support, being present with you in the operating room, and offering any other support that may be needed.

6. Post-Op Support and Recovery

Once your baby is born, a doula’s support doesn’t end in the hospital. After an elective cesarean, recovery can be more challenging than expected. Your doula can help you with breastfeeding, getting comfortable, managing your pain, and adjusting to your new routine. They can also provide postnatal care, ensuring that both you and your baby are doing well in the days and weeks after birth.

7. Creating a Positive Birth Experience

A key role of a doula during an elective cesarean is to help you feel empowered and in control of your birth experience. A C-section may not be the birth you initially envisioned, but with a doula’s support, you can still have a positive, peaceful experience. Doulas are skilled in creating a calm and nurturing environment, and they will help you focus on the joy of welcoming your baby.

Final Thoughts

Whether you’re planning an elective cesarean for medical reasons or because it aligns with your personal birth plan, a doula can provide the support you need every step of the way. From helping you prepare emotionally to advocating for your wishes during the birth and assisting with postnatal care, doulas offer invaluable support for cesarean births.

If you’re considering a doula for your elective cesarean, I’d love to chat with you about how I can help make your birth experience as positive as possible.

Get in touch with me today!

Top 5 Tips For Protecting The First 40 days

The first forty days post birth or bringing your baby home is a key time for you and your new baby. This time can feel endless and at times a blur, but this is the time you want to protect. During this time you as a unit will get to know each other and grow in confidence.

TIP 1

Prepare for this time before your baby’s arrival

We spend our pregnancies preparing for our new babies arrival. This may include shopping for new clothes for them, pushchairs, prams, car seats; the list goes on.

What we are less good at being prepared for is ourselves. And In truth, for the first few weeks at least the baby really only needs the bare minimum. They need some nappies, a source of milk, some clothes and most importantly us - their parents.

However what us as parents need is as important as what our babies need. So being prepared for this ahead of their arrival is key to those first few weeks feeling more enjoyable and less overwhelming. Preparation will look different for every family but it may include stocking up on your favourite foods and filling your freezer with batch cooking. It could be simply making sure all your favourite blankets and bedding is washed or even treating yourselves to some new PJs or slippers which are solely for once your baby has arrived.

These little pieces of comfort and familiarity will make the transition in those first 40 days so much calmer and more enjoyable.

I have written a blog on some key items you may want for yourself in your fourth trimester which can be found here.

TIP 2

Prepare friends and family for any boundaries you may have.

And by “may” have, I definitely mean have. I am not going to suggest you don’t see anyone until your baby is 40 days old. What I am suggesting however is that you try to limit how many and for how long.

Often our loved ones are incredibly excited and eager to meet our new arrivals. And so they should be! But a key part is that this is your healing time. Your time for bonding, establishing feeding and most importantly resting. Therefore having a stream of visitors can often feel overwhelming and counter productive.

In order for our new babies to adjust and get used to this brand new world they are in, they need a lot of us. And in order for us to adjust to life with a new baby, we need a lot of them. So suggesting your friends and family visit at times only convenient for you and not for them, and for short amounts of time is the key to finding a healthy balance.

If you are the type of family who are used to people “dropping in” regularly then you may need to be more vocal about your boundaries and wishes than others. Simply explaining you would like to take some time to rest and get to know your baby before you have visitors is a perfectly reasonable and simple explanation to give them.

TIP 3

Accepting help and Support

If your loved ones want to come over and in turn offer to “bring something” by all means ask them to. It may be some food shopping, a couple of meals or just some snacks but let others help. It will be useful for you and make them in turn feel like they have helped too.

As with my tip above, our friends and family don’t need to feel pushed out or unwanted if we have some boundaries around seeing them straight away. In fact usually we do want to speak to them and see them in those first 40 days, but if they can come with the outlook of being helpful and bringing goodies, then thats a win for everyone.

This also goes for offering hands on help. If your partner is back at work or you are doing this alone then asking for others to come over so you can go and have a shower or a nap is a great way to protect your early days and ensure you feel the right balance of parenting and some self care.

TIP 4

Staying Low Key

Before we have our babies it is hard to know how we will actually feel once they are here. I would always suggest aiming to stay fairly low key for the first 40 days.

We don’t want to find ourselves fully booked socially and feeling worried or anxious about cancelling. I would aim for nothing and then you can always decide after a few weeks that you actually do want to go and socialise, but by this point it is on your terms. And will feel much more manageable.

Some nice little goals to aim for which you can incorporate with being “social” are walks with friends, pub lunches and breakfast dates. These are all great as they have a time limit on them and means you are only preparing to leave the house etc for a couple of hours rather than a whole day.

TIP 5

Hire a doula….!

Of course I am going to write this…

But honestly, hiring a doula does not mean you a committing to hundreds of hours of support and thousands of pounds.

It purely means you are already sourcing someone who is there to hold your space and remind you to take it slow. You may only have your doula for a few hours a week. But what you have is the knowledge and reassurance that you are fully supported in your first 40 days.

Natalie x

Small Steps to Self Care in the Fourth Trimester

The fourth trimester is the 12-week period immediately after you have had your baby. Not everyone has heard of it, but every mother and their newborn baby will go through it. It is a time of great physical and emotional change as your baby adjusts to being outside the womb, and you adjust to your new life as a mum

Finding time for yourself in the fourth trimester can be a challenge. Finding time between the feeds and changes is a skill in itself and usually parents find themselves doing more practical jobs as soon as they get the chance.

This is why I am a big believer in taking time to schedule this self care in. Booking a bath or nap or even time to just flick through a magazine when you have a second pair of hands to help. This second pair of hands can come in the form of your partner, mother, best friend or doula.

You can also pre plan some small elements of self care and “luxury” for post baby before you have even given birth.

Some nice ideas for this include:-

1. Saving some new Pjs or loungewear for once you are home. A nice comfortable fresh outfit to put on once you have had a nice shower in your home and ready to relax with your baby.

2. Treating yourself to new bath or shower products to make each shower or bath feel extra lovely. They may not be as frequent as you would like for the first weeks so making each one count can make all the difference

3. Stocking your cupboards with your favourite tea’s, drinks and snacks. So during that night feed or when your baby is napping you can have a little something to enjoy.

“Nap when your baby naps”

This is so often said to new parents and in theory its a lovely idea, in reality it isn’t always possible.

This is where your second pair of hands comes in. Many new parents do not always feel comfortable accepting the help they are offered. Sometimes they feel they should be doing it on their own. I fully encourage parents to find their feet and build their own confidence with raising their new baby.

However I also believe parents deserve to rest and recover after birth. Therefore I think accepting help offered from a friend or family member or hiring a doula is always a good idea. Using that pair of hands to watch the baby whilst you take a nap is a great way of helping with your recovery.

If like many you struggle to nap during the day then I recommend a few things to try in order to encourage the sleep.

1. Using an app such as headspace which has pre recorded guided meditations and sleep casts on is great for helping you to switch off and fall asleep.

2. Eye masks are brilliant for blocking out the light and helping you to fall asleep. I also really recommend spacemasks for this. They are a great present idea too if anyone wants to buy a new parent a little something for themselves.

Staying Nourished

The two key points to recovering in the fourth trimester are resting and nourishment.

As per my point about accepting help and a pair of hands with the baby to enable you to rest. I also believe in accepting help with staying nourished during this time. If someone offers to make you a giant lasagne, bake you some cookies or drop round a bottle of wine. Then let them. Finding the time to cook or even think of what food you need/want from the shops can feel like too much.

Some women like to batch cook prior to giving birth and this can also be a great idea. Making big portions of your favourite meals and freezing them can be a saviour on the other side when you are hungry but have no time or want to cook.

There are also some great food delivery services for new parents:-

1. COOK is a great company which you can have delivered to your door. They do homemade style frozen meals. They also offer 10% for new parents for the first 6 months. If friends and family are asking what to get you as a gift but you feel like you have it all than a COOK voucher or subscription is a great idea.

2. The food doula is another good company for well thought out and nourishing home food delivery. They also offer vouchers so can be bought as a gift ahead of time ready for the new parents to choose what they want when they want it.

Of course there are now hundreds of take away services too which can be at your doorstep in minutes. Its just the home cooked element that often new parents crave.